Only as far as I reach can I grow

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, Only as far as I seek can I go, Only as deep as I look can I see, Only as much as I dream can I be”

Lately I’ve been pondering dreams. I am, as well as my peers at a stage in life where the typical cliché is used….that I’m at a crossroads. But I think that people normally use this to imply that all the options are wide open, and I just have to pick a path. However I see it as more of a crazed entanglement of roads all leading in directions I’m not quite sure which I want to pursue….and the lights are on amber, my panic levels rising as I soon realize they will flick to red and my decision…my final decision about a lot of things will have to be made.

 I have always known I will not be one to settle, that anything and everything I pursue I want to commit to with 100% of my enthusiasm and determination. And I can’t really guarantee either of those things without loving the projects I’m involved in, without believing in them, without them being part of my dream for my life. But soon the dreams I dreamed as a child have to become a reality, and now that they’re here in front of me they’re a lot bigger and scarier than I anticipated….and I have a funny feeling that life is a little like that for everyone. As child I dreamt of being all grown up and going to Uni, yet now all that seems buried underneath the stress of ucas and the weight of the seemingly potential life changing decisions I have to make about the future of my education. Dreams and what I want seem always on my mind…and on all of those around me, my friends, and their family anxious for their child to make the right ‘life choices’.

 You might remember this quote from my first blog, its still a quote that challenges me daily to think beyond the realms of my comfort zone.

And in this a friend got me thinking, and to use a movie reference they said sometimes life is a little like the matrix, things might seem impossible but if you believe you can do it you can, and you will, but you have to believe. So much easier said than done, when the odds are stacked against you, your timetable is stacked and you don’t have the right grades, or whatever is the equivalent in your situation. Most of the time we all struggle to believe in ourselves, let alone believe in plans much bigger than our capabilities, dreams that are in fact so big they scare you. This challenged me…whether that if I didn’t believe I could do it whether that could be the pinnacle hindrance in my pursuit of this goal. Or whether this friend was wrong, sometimes even though you don’t believe in the impossible with all you have, it can still happen. Because I think sometimes we can believe all we want, but fear will always stop us from fully trusting in this belief, fear that if we allow ourselves to believe it’s possible and then doesn’t come true we wont be able to cope with the fallout from this failure.

 Now I’m a big Disney fan. But I am in dispute about whether Walt has this right. Something in me wants to believe in Disney-esque magic, to be overly optimistic and believe that yes if you can dream it you can do it.

 But as is the way in this society the voice of reason is overpowering. I mean I could dream of being a doctor, but I would perhaps be hindered by my complete lack of scientific ability and knowledge and the fact that blood and guts makes me ever so slightly squeamish.

 But only as far as you reach can you grow, and sometimes your heart can take you to places your head is scared to go. To dream that impossible dream and to be a bit more Martin Luther King about your situation. I don’t think we have to throw reason out the window, and I don’t think its possible to eradicate fear. But it’s still possible to believe in something to hope in something with all your heart. But you have to set that high aim.

 Fears can be set aside, put on the back burner. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to dream and then let reason and fear step in, they can do their job and make sure you don’t get carried away. But they have no place in dictating your belief in yourself.